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点击查看原文：Kelly Keeper and Kornet Contest carry over nicknames as new additions to Spurs roster

Kelly Keeper and Kornet Contest carry over nicknames as new additions to Spurs roster

A professional athlete’s career is measured by two things and two things only: (1) the number of titles won and (2) their nickname. Sixty percent of the time, their nickname is all that matters — every time. Magic Johnson, Air Jordan, The Dream, The Black Mamba, The Answer, Dr. J, The Human Highlight Reel (my personal favorite), The Round Mound of Rebound, Larry Legend, The Joker, The Logo, The Iceman, AK47 (another personal favorite), The Admiral — the possibilities are endless.

When an NBA player’s nickname also denotes their signature move or an actual basketball move (e.g., Hakeem The Dream’s Dream Shake), well slap some Blackbeard’s Delight on or your favorite cologne that has bits of real panther in it, and call it a day. For the San Antonio Spurs, two new players have nicknames in the style of basketball moves: Kelly Olynyk’s “Kelly Keeper” and Luke Kornet’s “Kornet Contest” (if you ask me, I would go with Kornet Kontest — but no one asked me).

Minutes with Olynyk at the 5 had been fairly limited early this season, relative to last year, so of course the second Spo goes to that look we get a Kelly Keeper. pic.twitter.com/ew2FctfJqL

— Couper Moorhead (@ CoupNBA) October 31, 2018

Both players project to be important starters or rotation pieces for a Spurs team in need of help on the front lines. Olynyk brings shooting, passing, and rebounding, while Kornet brings screen setting, rebounding, and rim protection. So while I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to embed “WembanDrama” or “If Jeremy Can Sochan You” into the NBA zeitgeist, Kelly Keeper and Kornet Contest bring a certain gregarious nicknaming convention for Jacob Tobey and Sean Elliott to utilize this coming season.

The Kornet contest has changed basketball forever https://t.co/TtaZ62O9X7 pic.twitter.com/b8K9VfgdTx

— Dan Greenberg (@ StoolGreenie) October 14, 2023

Speaking of the great Sean Elliott, his nickname was “Ninja” and “The Eclectic,” but Tim Duncan affectionately referred to him as a “burnt earthworm with glasses.” Duncan also teased Elliott about his “Steve Urkel glasses,” which predated all the recent Tyrese Haliburton comparisons to Steve Urkel dominating on the court in that one episode of Family Matters. Nicknames are fun until everyone on your college intramural team refers to you as “George Costanza” because you’re a chucker.